I was advised in no uncertain terms that, and I quote, "I would rather be called a sleazeball of a 'ho than an Empress of COBOL. I realize that no one understands what I do, but hexadecimal and assembler are my toys of choice."
I am pleased, therefore, to announce that henceforth I am proud to be the sister of the Aphrodite of Assembler. Even if I don't understand what she does.
I didn't say it was a good experience, mind you, just incomparable.
During my last trial, which dragged on for six weeks before the judge finally put it out of its misery, I had just that experience. On her second day of cross, I learned that my client had made an audiotape of certain threatening messages left by the opposing party and one of her henchwomen at the start of the litigation. As the third attorney on the case, I'd not seen this declaration before. I had been blissfully unaware of that tape, and had failed to produce it.
Four days later, after searching every night after a full court day, my client finally found the blasted tape, and brought it triumphantly into my office. She had listened to it once at home, and said that it was pretty good stuff.
You know what's going to happen next, don't you?
We pop the cassette into the player, hit play, listen to an ominous few moments of message and then--squeal! flapflapflapflapflap!--the tape breaks.
One panicked hour later we have located a shop a few blocks from my office that repairs and duplicates audio and videotapes, no less, for the courthouse set. Another ten minutes, and fifteen mere dollars, later, I have a repaired original and four copies of the tape to produce all around.
The obvious moral of the story, other than keeping google at hand at all times? Copy your evidence before you put it in a tape player. It is much easier on the nerves.
Geez. I'm still reeling from the fact that I have to check the "45-49" age category, which seems to be ancient for a blogger. Tempus fugit.
Wait, that's not entirely correct. The writ for the first piece of heavy equipment still lies in my file unexecuted because the eighteen-wheeler is still on the lam (unlicensed, I might add).
Stay tuned, however, as the exciting tale of pursuit of the missing Sport King Drop Deck Trailer develops.
Wednesday update: An interesting Freudian slip appears above. The trailer is a Trail King. My .22 caliber semiautomatic pistol is a Sport King.
No more dependency on The Evil Empire for a meager trickle of Net.
I may never live in the real world again.
So I have joined an actual law firm, effective today. The timing has perhaps not been ideal. Some of my colleagues who are more keenly aware of my sense of whimsy have refused to believe that I am seriously making this switch. For this, I have only myself to blame.
Nevertheless, I have now left the ranks of solos and joined a firm, so I took down most of the content of my solo site this morning, and converted the remainder into a campaign site for the minor Bar office I am pursuing.
It was like watching the carnival being knocked down at the end of its stay in town. Really, I am proud of the content I developed, and it made me very sad to take it all down.
If the preceding paragraph makes no sense to you, you might be interested in an introduction to the Prisoner's Dilemma (trolled up almost randomly through Google), a facet of game theory which I believes explains almost all social interaction. Well, I exaggerate. But not by much.
An application of this principle can be seen in the Compact Disc Minimum Advertised Price Antitrust Litigation Settlement currently being flogged in newspapers and on the Net.
The more consumers filing claims in this settlement, the lower the recovery to each. Each additional person signing up produces a marginally worse deal for those who went before him. If enough people sign up, all the money will be subject to cy pres distribution, which in less technical terms means nobody gets nuthin'. I note, by the way, that although I think of cy pres as a reasonably obscure legal term, a google search of the term got me 2,510 hits. Replevin weighs in at a corking 10,900 hits, but I like to think that's because of my blog.
In any event, the problem is allied to the logical dilemma sometimes described as the tragedy of the commons. A commons is any resource used as though it belongs to all (the classical illustration is sheep grazing a meadow and breeding until they all starve), and a commons is destroyed by uncontrolled use. If you believe in the tragedy of the commons you are less likely to believe in the Invisible Hand of Adam Smith. And vice, of course, versa.
Another way to look at the dwindling CD settlement is to view it as a multiplayer Prisoner's Dilemma, one of my favorite facets of game theory. From the point of view of the person sitting at the computer screen pondering whether to apply for a refund, however, the choice is between having a chance at some free money or having no chance at all (if s/he doesn't apply). Because this is not an iterated game, there was only one logical course of action. At least that was my experience.
I think Eyman's completely correct, however, that H.B. 1014 is a good idea. This bill looked to be a sleeper technical correction item until Eyman publicized it by speaking in support of it in Olympia. Let's face it, 8 1/2 by 14 inch paper is an anachronism. It's still called "legal" paper, but every court in which I practice switched over to letter-sized paper years ago. It's also hard to imagine that this bill will have any particular opposition (who? the paper companies?).
Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
This is very annoying.
Considering that I have just today figured out that I can add fixed links to my posts (although my attempts to format this turned the coding on the page katywompus for half an hour), which enables me to surface the previous Law entry, and that I have a totally free blog, my expectations are awfully high. If I'm going to do this, I want to do it right.
Only drawback so far, aside from my needing to purchase the above-referenced PDA--this "way alpha" software is only available in Wince, which I refuse to use.
Clinging lovingly to her Betamax
Q: Didn't it concern you at all that Father Geoghan was now at a place where children were congregating outside his parish?
A: You know, the case, as it was brought to me, was a complaint relating to proselytizing, and I was taking it at that.
Does Law expect us to believe that he believed Geoghan to be doing God's work? Really, I couldn't make this stuff up.
However, I have now seen the app that will force me to DSL, despite my cheap-and-worth-every-penny use of The Evil Empire. No, I'm the kind of girl who is longing for a desktop news aggregator. I just can't see doing that with dialup.
More seriously, they are just wrong, wrong, wrong in criticizing the phrase "black ice" as being meaningless. Maybe they don't have that up in Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan/Ontario, but where I come from black ice is a thin layer of transparent ice that takes on the color of the road. I guess in the Twin Saults, ice is always thick and opaque (and probably year-round....but I digress). Ah, the limited world view of the provincial.
I could go on with this exercise, but do I really need to?
It will be interesting to watch a master of the Internet in real time making decisions about what content to allocate to his website and what content to post to the blog. Myself, I find blogging so addictive that I have been shamefully neglecting my own website, which is in the throes of an upgrade behind the scenes in any event.
McCormack's explanation of what he thought of Father Shanley's advocacy of NAMBLA positions (as it were) really is priceless. You'd think by now I would be used to the idea that a priest would lie under oath, but I'm not.
Daily is more likeable but also has what I have taken to calling Law's Disease, a seemingly congenital inability to allow the interrogator to finish his questioning before jumping in with an answer.
In any case, these men seem not to have reviewed the documents produced before their depositions. It did not serve them well.
Sleep well, father. E-prime provides linguistic, not mathematical discipline. If you don't want to follow the link, that means: "In essence, E-Prime consists of a more descriptive and extensionally oriented derivative of English, that automatically tends to bring the user back to the level of first person experience." It works its magic by eliminating all forms of the verb "to be" from speech, written and spoken.
I find this hard to do, but notice that the above blog entry contains no such structures. Of course, my training in Russian gives me a leg up because the Russian language lacks a present tense form of that verb. So I worked without it regularly in my youth.