happy, um...

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes
for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress,
nonaddictive, gender neutral celebration of the holiday of your choice, practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular
practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular
persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice
religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and
medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally
accepted Gregorian calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for
the calendars of choice of other cultures, and without regard to the
race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual
preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification, modification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no
promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for
her- or himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is
revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted
to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for
a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday
greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement
of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the

No trees were harmed in the posting of this message;
however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.

1 comment:

Scotch and Sandwiches said...

That may have been the most amusing holiday greeting I've ever seen wished anyone, at least twice as funny as any other I came across this year. What made it twice as funny was the fact that due to my current state of intoxication, I actually saw two copies of it, side by side, and read it twice.