Okay, I am looking for confirmation now that the following pleading is real:
UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT MIDDLE DISTRICT OF FLORIDA ORLANDO DIVISION
AVISTA MANAGEMENT, INC., d/b/a Avista Plex, Inc.,
Plaintiff,
-vs-
WAUSAU UNDERWRITERS INSURANCE COMPANY,
Defendant.
______________________________________
ORDER
This matter comes before the Court on Plaintiff's Motion to designate location of a Rule 30(b)(6) deposition (Doc. 105). Upon consideration of the Motion – the latest in a series of Gordian knots that the parties have been unable to untangle without enlisting the assistance of the federal courts – it is
ORDERED that said Motion is DENIED. Instead, the Court will fashion a new form of alternative dispute resolution, to wit: at 4:00 P.M. on Friday, June 30, 2006, counsel shall convene at a neutral site agreeable to both parties. If counsel cannot agree on a neutral site, they shall meet on the front steps of the Sam M. Gibbons U.S. Courthouse, 801 North Florida Ave., Tampa, Florida 33602. Each lawyer shall be entitled to be accompanied by one paralegal who shall act as an attendant and witness. At that time and location, counsel shall engage in one (1) game of "rock, paper, scissors." The winner of this engagement shall be entitled to select the location for the 30(b)(6) deposition to be held somewhere in Hillsborough County during the period July 11-12, 2006. If either party disputes the outcome of this engagement, an appeal may be filed and a hearing will be held at 8:30 A.M. on Friday, July 7, 2006 before the undersigned in Courtroom 3, George C. Young United States Courthouse and Federal Building, 80 North Hughey Avenue, Orlando, Florida 32801.
DONE and ORDERED in Chambers, Orlando, Florida on June 6, 2006.
Copies furnished to: Counsel of Record
Unrepresented Party
Please, God, let this be real.
First update: it seems to be.
6.07.2006
6.05.2006
dances with fans
Having learned to dance (so far) with castanets, manton, and small rocks (clapped together for percussion in lieu of castanets--dramatic and earthy but hurts like hell when a finger gets in the way), I took a new step on Saturday.
We started dancing alegrias with fans.
Huh.
All I'm going to say is that it's a lot harder than it looks. Since I'm left-handed, having to manipulate the fan with my off hand makes it all the worse. I already know I will throw myself into mastery of the fan, at which point I will possess yet another highly-developed skill that is of no general application to my life (like my ability to discuss opera and ballet in fluent Russian).
Update 6-14-2006
For the record the score is now Goddess 1, Fans 0, since I managed to break the handle on my first fan by snapping it open just a touch too briskly last Saturday. I need me a supply of cheap fans. Ah, the complex life of a twenty-first century goddess.
We started dancing alegrias with fans.
Huh.
All I'm going to say is that it's a lot harder than it looks. Since I'm left-handed, having to manipulate the fan with my off hand makes it all the worse. I already know I will throw myself into mastery of the fan, at which point I will possess yet another highly-developed skill that is of no general application to my life (like my ability to discuss opera and ballet in fluent Russian).
Update 6-14-2006
For the record the score is now Goddess 1, Fans 0, since I managed to break the handle on my first fan by snapping it open just a touch too briskly last Saturday. I need me a supply of cheap fans. Ah, the complex life of a twenty-first century goddess.
6.02.2006
mercy, mercy me
I really had no idea when I created a blog persona how much fun I would have with it. Her. Whatever.
The dark goddess's credit card has become a piece of performance art: I received a cheery notice in the mail yesterday that the credit limit of my corporation sole now stands at $12,500.00.
Now, it's true that it's not at the world's best interest rate, but the fictitious can't afford to be choosy.
Lest anyone from First Equity be reading this blog, I hasten to note that the dark goddess's bill will always be paid. With real, not imaginary, money. As a general rule, however, corporations sole are chancy credit risks. Look at the Archdiocese of Spokane.
The dark goddess's credit card has become a piece of performance art: I received a cheery notice in the mail yesterday that the credit limit of my corporation sole now stands at $12,500.00.
Now, it's true that it's not at the world's best interest rate, but the fictitious can't afford to be choosy.
Lest anyone from First Equity be reading this blog, I hasten to note that the dark goddess's bill will always be paid. With real, not imaginary, money. As a general rule, however, corporations sole are chancy credit risks. Look at the Archdiocese of Spokane.
5.01.2006
well, i should hope so
The headline reads: jury awards $1.7 million to woman spanked at work. This turns out not to be hyperbole. It was part of a "camaraderie-building exercise."
I once had a job where my employer had the right to dictate the color of my underpants (this was in Montana almost thirty years ago, and I was a cocktail waitress). It was at that time that I swore that there were certain things that I would not do to remain employed. It is funny, because I think lawyers may have a certain reputation among laypeople as being willing to do just about anything for a fee, but I find I am more and more picky as time goes by.
I definitely would not be willing to be spanked as a condition of continued employment.
I once had a job where my employer had the right to dictate the color of my underpants (this was in Montana almost thirty years ago, and I was a cocktail waitress). It was at that time that I swore that there were certain things that I would not do to remain employed. It is funny, because I think lawyers may have a certain reputation among laypeople as being willing to do just about anything for a fee, but I find I am more and more picky as time goes by.
I definitely would not be willing to be spanked as a condition of continued employment.
4.20.2006
the continued adventures of my persona
My persona has begun embarking on new adventures. The increased line of credit helps.
I recently used the line of credit to have the dark goddess of replevin become a corporate sponsor of a charity benefit rock concert.
My tastes are nothing if not eclectic, so after duly educating myself about the birth of grunge, I put in an appearance at the concert in time to hear Riverred and the Supersuckers. (Obligatory bad cell phone concert photograph on its way shortly.) One of the other bands--I won't name it--was awful, just awful, but I am now feeling rather smug that I actually know who the Supersuckers ARE and what group later gave rise to Riverred. Also, the corporate rep from Livewire, there at the concert to promote the CD(NOTE: I receive no compensation whatsoever if you buy this product by clicking on this link) seemed rather amused to discover that one of his corporate sponsors was a woman in classic pearls...and tiger-print spike heels. As my son says, I totally rock.
I recently used the line of credit to have the dark goddess of replevin become a corporate sponsor of a charity benefit rock concert.
My tastes are nothing if not eclectic, so after duly educating myself about the birth of grunge, I put in an appearance at the concert in time to hear Riverred and the Supersuckers. (Obligatory bad cell phone concert photograph on its way shortly.) One of the other bands--I won't name it--was awful, just awful, but I am now feeling rather smug that I actually know who the Supersuckers ARE and what group later gave rise to Riverred. Also, the corporate rep from Livewire, there at the concert to promote the CD(NOTE: I receive no compensation whatsoever if you buy this product by clicking on this link) seemed rather amused to discover that one of his corporate sponsors was a woman in classic pearls...and tiger-print spike heels. As my son says, I totally rock.
4.19.2006
charnel ground meditation
The blurb says that this form of meditation has been difficult to reproduce in the West.
Actually, it was reproduced vividly in Manhattan not all that long ago.
Actually, it was reproduced vividly in Manhattan not all that long ago.
4.17.2006
treetop barbie
Last month I blogged in jest here about Washington state Barbies.
In a further demonstration that parody is dead and has been replaced completely by irony, I learned yesterday that it is possible to obtain a product known as TreeTop Barbie if one donates $50 or so to the International Canopy Network, based at the Evergreen State College in Olympia.
Here is the actual description of this product. As Dave Barry says, I swear I am not making this up.
I am also not making up the fact that I learned about TreeTop Barbie yesterday when she was interviewed by a local newspaper.
In a further demonstration that parody is dead and has been replaced completely by irony, I learned yesterday that it is possible to obtain a product known as TreeTop Barbie if one donates $50 or so to the International Canopy Network, based at the Evergreen State College in Olympia.
Here is the actual description of this product. As Dave Barry says, I swear I am not making this up.
"TreeTop Barbie is designed to raise consciousness among young girls (and boys!) about the importance of forest canopy organisms and interactions. TreeTop Barbie can provide a role model for kids and parents who are interested in alternatives to mainstream culture’s Barbie doll image. TreeTop Barbie can provide encouragement to kids who would like to be field biologists. Additionally, TreeTop Barbie can help to raise awareness regarding the importance of forest canopies, both in rainforests and the temperate zone.
TreeTop Barbie’s field clothes are hand sewn and include rough and tumble climbing pants, field vest, field shirt, helmet, boots and all the appropriate climbing gear (rope, harness, etc). TreeTop Barbie, armed with her binoculars, rite-in-the-rain [sic] data book and trusty field guide (both Barbie- and big girl-sized) is ready to identify plants and animals found in the forest. The TreeTop Barbie Package also includes a personal letter from TreeTop Barbie as well as some information about forests, both kid- and adult-oriented."
I am also not making up the fact that I learned about TreeTop Barbie yesterday when she was interviewed by a local newspaper.
4.10.2006
motion practice, continued
Part of an irregular series in which I take note of novel forms of relief sought by litigants in my sphere of influence.
Today I am in receipt of a Motion for Fist Fight dated two weeks ago in the Montana Fourth Judicial District Court, Mineral County in the case of State v. Mauhar, No. D2005-8. My research confirms that this brief was actually filed (and later withdrawn).
The defense attorney asserted that (1) the prosecution had maintained that the decedent (one Matt Palagi) had the right to beat up the defendant and another individual, Demetrius Joslin, and (2) therefore the defense and the prosecution should settle the matter via fistfight.
The State of Montana responded the following day that "While counsel for the State are confident they could acquit themselves respectably if were necessary to settle any part of this matter by means of a physical contest . . ." etc.
Now. There was a real Matt Palagi who was stabbed to death by Demetrius Joslin, and defendant Mauhar (name misspelled in one of the pleadings) was in fact represented by Kirk Krutilla and David Stenerson, whose names are listed on the pleadings I have.
Poking a little deeper below the surface, it appears that Mr. Krutilla was subjected to some heckling shortly before this motion was filed. And the Clark Fork Chronicle, which comes out once per week, reports that one of Krutilla's friends has been assaulted and Krutilla himself has left this case.
Mineral County, Montana, sounds like a lonely place to be if they're gunnin' for ya. The county contains 1,223 square miles with a population of 3,600, which is, let's see, three people per square mile.
When I first saw the style of the pleading, I thought this was going to be funny. The more I research this matter, the more I feel a chill.
Today I am in receipt of a Motion for Fist Fight dated two weeks ago in the Montana Fourth Judicial District Court, Mineral County in the case of State v. Mauhar, No. D2005-8. My research confirms that this brief was actually filed (and later withdrawn).
The defense attorney asserted that (1) the prosecution had maintained that the decedent (one Matt Palagi) had the right to beat up the defendant and another individual, Demetrius Joslin, and (2) therefore the defense and the prosecution should settle the matter via fistfight.
The State of Montana responded the following day that "While counsel for the State are confident they could acquit themselves respectably if were necessary to settle any part of this matter by means of a physical contest . . ." etc.
Now. There was a real Matt Palagi who was stabbed to death by Demetrius Joslin, and defendant Mauhar (name misspelled in one of the pleadings) was in fact represented by Kirk Krutilla and David Stenerson, whose names are listed on the pleadings I have.
Poking a little deeper below the surface, it appears that Mr. Krutilla was subjected to some heckling shortly before this motion was filed. And the Clark Fork Chronicle, which comes out once per week, reports that one of Krutilla's friends has been assaulted and Krutilla himself has left this case.
Mineral County, Montana, sounds like a lonely place to be if they're gunnin' for ya. The county contains 1,223 square miles with a population of 3,600, which is, let's see, three people per square mile.
When I first saw the style of the pleading, I thought this was going to be funny. The more I research this matter, the more I feel a chill.
corporate alzheimer's
When I read this headline I assumed it had something to do with lack of institutional memory.
Although that's a problem, the article turns out to be about the problems of abandoning old files when one abandons computers. I cherish my electronic form file and brief bank. I've only been in charge of it for eight years (that being when I founded my firm), but since I hope to practice for many years hence, these issues will recur.
What wasn't addressed in the article is the problem of legacy file formats, which I can foresee (donning my Cassandra robes here) as a problem for the future. Although it's unlikely that Microsoft will stop churning out new releases of Word, suppose Time Matters shuts its doors? Yes, it's owned by LexisNexis now, but they could always decide to kill it. I've got all my practice information stored in a modified Topspeed database. Always at my back I hear Time's winged chariot running near.
Although that's a problem, the article turns out to be about the problems of abandoning old files when one abandons computers. I cherish my electronic form file and brief bank. I've only been in charge of it for eight years (that being when I founded my firm), but since I hope to practice for many years hence, these issues will recur.
What wasn't addressed in the article is the problem of legacy file formats, which I can foresee (donning my Cassandra robes here) as a problem for the future. Although it's unlikely that Microsoft will stop churning out new releases of Word, suppose Time Matters shuts its doors? Yes, it's owned by LexisNexis now, but they could always decide to kill it. I've got all my practice information stored in a modified Topspeed database. Always at my back I hear Time's winged chariot running near.
4.04.2006
the death of a blawg on the death of a law firm
It seems like only last week--in fact, it was only last week--that I speculated that an anonymous blawg called "Death of a Law Firm" was an inside job by a partner.
We'll never know. The site has already been deleted, so quickly that even the Wayback Machine could not assist me in resuscitating it. Note: I had occasion last week to locate a Very Naughty Site, Which Probably Caused Me To Violate A Number Of Federal Laws In Viewing It, last week in the course of research on a case. You can locate traces of almost any folly on the Internet. It's not often that the vapor trails of people's thoughts on the Internet let me down.
But I could have told J.D., the putative (or should I say titular? I love that word) author of the already-defunct Death of a Law Firm blawg, that it is hard work maintaining a persona for any length of time (let alone establishing a line of credit in her name). Not every fictitious person is up to it. These violent delights have violent ends.
We'll never know. The site has already been deleted, so quickly that even the Wayback Machine could not assist me in resuscitating it. Note: I had occasion last week to locate a Very Naughty Site, Which Probably Caused Me To Violate A Number Of Federal Laws In Viewing It, last week in the course of research on a case. You can locate traces of almost any folly on the Internet. It's not often that the vapor trails of people's thoughts on the Internet let me down.
But I could have told J.D., the putative (or should I say titular? I love that word) author of the already-defunct Death of a Law Firm blawg, that it is hard work maintaining a persona for any length of time (let alone establishing a line of credit in her name). Not every fictitious person is up to it. These violent delights have violent ends.
3.27.2006
blawg review #50
Let's begin with a threshold question: is it necessary to be Real to maintain a blawg?
Of course not. There is a time-honored (note: in Internet time, this could be several months) tradition of insider critique most currently embodied (in the electronic sense) by one "J.D." of Death of a Law Firm, holding herself out as "an associate at a small but sophisticated law firm with a regional practice serving commercial clients."
Mmph. This baby blawg has only eight entries, but is compulsively readable. My take? The author is a disgruntled partner writing a cautionary tale with which to flog her partners. I've yet to meet an associate with the intense interest in business development possessed by the owner of even the smallest equity share in a law firm.
Next question: is it necessary to have any particular equipment in order to blawg?
Well, yes, a brain, a computer, internet access...but you law student blawgers, no laptops, ever! Also note: the penis is optional equipment. This means that the Prawfs at PrawfsBlawg should take note that their list of graduates contains alumnae and not just alumni. Bad pedants! No cookie!
Next question: are there topics that are never discussed on blawgs?
Well, frankly, now that you mention it, there aren't that many blawggers showing much interest in pitting the establishment clause against the free exercise clause. Really, it seems like everybody favors one or the other. On the one hand, some folks are mighty persnickety separating church from state, like white from yolk. In the other corner, of course, we have the free-exercisers. Give me a fight about that old time religion, it's good enough for me.. Note also Jews On First, the single cleverest blog name I have encountered in many a moon.
Moving to a different sort of Free Exercise, freepreach.org, which seems to be operated by an entity named the Becket Fund, plaintively asks, "Has your preaching been labelled hate speech?" Ah. No, usually just excessively sarcastic. The last temptation is the greatest treason, to do the right deed for the wrong reason.
I'm not sure that the earnest folks at Freepreach, however, really had these unusual churches in mind, very few of which appear to be the target market for e-zekiel.com's church website hosting. Moreover, there appears to be a Darkside Goddess who may be infringing on my intellectual property.
Now, consider this: if we were to violate the Establishment Clause together, just you and I, dear Reader, could we do any better than the Church of 80% Sincerity in which to commit our mortal constitutional sin?
No, seriously. David Roche says:
Amen.
For the insatiably curious, Blawg Review has information about next week's host, and instructions how to get your blawg posts reviewed in upcoming issues.
Of course not. There is a time-honored (note: in Internet time, this could be several months) tradition of insider critique most currently embodied (in the electronic sense) by one "J.D." of Death of a Law Firm, holding herself out as "an associate at a small but sophisticated law firm with a regional practice serving commercial clients."
Mmph. This baby blawg has only eight entries, but is compulsively readable. My take? The author is a disgruntled partner writing a cautionary tale with which to flog her partners. I've yet to meet an associate with the intense interest in business development possessed by the owner of even the smallest equity share in a law firm.
Next question: is it necessary to have any particular equipment in order to blawg?
Well, yes, a brain, a computer, internet access...but you law student blawgers, no laptops, ever! Also note: the penis is optional equipment. This means that the Prawfs at PrawfsBlawg should take note that their list of graduates contains alumnae and not just alumni. Bad pedants! No cookie!
Next question: are there topics that are never discussed on blawgs?
Well, frankly, now that you mention it, there aren't that many blawggers showing much interest in pitting the establishment clause against the free exercise clause. Really, it seems like everybody favors one or the other. On the one hand, some folks are mighty persnickety separating church from state, like white from yolk. In the other corner, of course, we have the free-exercisers. Give me a fight about that old time religion, it's good enough for me.. Note also Jews On First, the single cleverest blog name I have encountered in many a moon.
Moving to a different sort of Free Exercise, freepreach.org, which seems to be operated by an entity named the Becket Fund, plaintively asks, "Has your preaching been labelled hate speech?" Ah. No, usually just excessively sarcastic. The last temptation is the greatest treason, to do the right deed for the wrong reason.
I'm not sure that the earnest folks at Freepreach, however, really had these unusual churches in mind, very few of which appear to be the target market for e-zekiel.com's church website hosting. Moreover, there appears to be a Darkside Goddess who may be infringing on my intellectual property.
Now, consider this: if we were to violate the Establishment Clause together, just you and I, dear Reader, could we do any better than the Church of 80% Sincerity in which to commit our mortal constitutional sin?
No, seriously. David Roche says:
The face is the locus of the human persona. At the deepest level, a distorted face can signify that God or the universe may be quirky and careless, or at worst, vengeful and punitive. When others judge a face to be marred, it serves as an unconscious reminder to them that the whole human experience, including their own, is one of being flawed. In our western culture, we have inherited the dogma that we are innately evil, born with the birth defect of original sin. The religions of the east filter their Calvinism through concepts of enlightenment and karma. This sort of cultural and religious background is the basis for the deep subtext that perforce accompanies any disabled character. Even the medical model of disability only substitutes cure for salvation. I believe that seeing and accepting one’s “flawed” condition is a core spiritual growth experience, an essential step in developing emotional maturity for all people, disabled and otherwise.
Amen.
For the insatiably curious, Blawg Review has information about next week's host, and instructions how to get your blawg posts reviewed in upcoming issues.
3.25.2006
it's coming...
Watch this blog Monday morning (to be precise, 9 p.m. Sunday Pacific Time) for Blawg Review #50.
You have been warned.
You have been warned.
3.15.2006
washington state barbies
Stolen from a friend of mine:
Seattle Barbie: This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with a Mercedes 4WD SUV, a Prada handbag and matching Nike Yoga ensemble. She has a master's degree and double-majored, but has the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom with Ken’s generous salary. Comes with Percocet prescription and Botox. Starbucks mug and traffic-jamming BlackBerry internet/cell phone device sold separately. Husband Ken is into fishing, golfing, baseball and is often “working” late. Available at all Seattle-area Starbucks retailers.
Bellevue Barbie: This limited edition princess Barbie is sold only at the Bellevue Square Nordstrom. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, your choice of a BMW convertible or Hummer H2 and a longhaired foreign lapdog named “Honey”. Also available is her cookie-cutter development dream house. Available with or without tummy tuck, facelift, and breast augmentation. Workaholic, cheating husband Ken comes with a Porsche.
Tacoma Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with 9mm handgun, switchblade, '78 El Camino with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit. This model is available only after dark and can only be purchased with cash - preferably small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know what you're talking about. Boyfriend Ken is in jail. Available at many pawn shops.
Everett Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with a pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer Gut Ken out of Monroe Barbie's trailer. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip gloss, and a see-through halter top. Purchase her Mustang convertible separately and get a Confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free. Boyfriend Ken is in treatment. Available at Army-Navy Surplus.
Monroe Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans 2 sizes too small, steel-toed cowboy boots, a classic Metallica T shirt and a Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has fake fingernails, a six pack of Budweiser, and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over a distance of 6 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Also available is the gold-toned cubic zirconium ring that Ken gave her after another one of his “episodes” with his boss’s daughter. Comes with Barbie's Dream Double Wide Trailer. Available at Fred Meyer.
Sultan Barbie: Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes with a stroller and bus pass. Also included is a G.E.D. and a completely filled out PFD form. Construction worker Ken and his '82 Caddy are optional. Available at Red Apple.
Vashon Island Barbie: This Barbie is made out of recycled plastic and tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no make-up, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She does not want, or need, a Ken doll. If you purchase the optional Subaru wagon, you will receive a free rainbow flag sticker. Available at REI.
Olympia Barbie: This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or removing snap on parts. Walks to work. Likes to "experiment," but will never commit. This model is being phased out and is only available from the manufacturer.
Update: Cf. also TreeTop Barbie, supra. Or infra, depending on whether you think of a blog post later in time but physically located above the citation as coming "before" or "after" the citation. Hm.
Seattle Barbie: This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with a Mercedes 4WD SUV, a Prada handbag and matching Nike Yoga ensemble. She has a master's degree and double-majored, but has the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom with Ken’s generous salary. Comes with Percocet prescription and Botox. Starbucks mug and traffic-jamming BlackBerry internet/cell phone device sold separately. Husband Ken is into fishing, golfing, baseball and is often “working” late. Available at all Seattle-area Starbucks retailers.
Bellevue Barbie: This limited edition princess Barbie is sold only at the Bellevue Square Nordstrom. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, your choice of a BMW convertible or Hummer H2 and a longhaired foreign lapdog named “Honey”. Also available is her cookie-cutter development dream house. Available with or without tummy tuck, facelift, and breast augmentation. Workaholic, cheating husband Ken comes with a Porsche.
Tacoma Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with 9mm handgun, switchblade, '78 El Camino with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit. This model is available only after dark and can only be purchased with cash - preferably small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know what you're talking about. Boyfriend Ken is in jail. Available at many pawn shops.
Everett Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with a pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer Gut Ken out of Monroe Barbie's trailer. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip gloss, and a see-through halter top. Purchase her Mustang convertible separately and get a Confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free. Boyfriend Ken is in treatment. Available at Army-Navy Surplus.
Monroe Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans 2 sizes too small, steel-toed cowboy boots, a classic Metallica T shirt and a Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has fake fingernails, a six pack of Budweiser, and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over a distance of 6 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Also available is the gold-toned cubic zirconium ring that Ken gave her after another one of his “episodes” with his boss’s daughter. Comes with Barbie's Dream Double Wide Trailer. Available at Fred Meyer.
Sultan Barbie: Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes with a stroller and bus pass. Also included is a G.E.D. and a completely filled out PFD form. Construction worker Ken and his '82 Caddy are optional. Available at Red Apple.
Vashon Island Barbie: This Barbie is made out of recycled plastic and tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no make-up, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She does not want, or need, a Ken doll. If you purchase the optional Subaru wagon, you will receive a free rainbow flag sticker. Available at REI.
Olympia Barbie: This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or removing snap on parts. Walks to work. Likes to "experiment," but will never commit. This model is being phased out and is only available from the manufacturer.
Update: Cf. also TreeTop Barbie, supra. Or infra, depending on whether you think of a blog post later in time but physically located above the citation as coming "before" or "after" the citation. Hm.
3.09.2006
the right stuff
When you get right down to it, possibly the single most desirable quality in a client is a willingness to pay attorney's fees.
Imagine the gladness in my heart this morning when, after cautioning a client by email that a request for another fee deposit was looming down the road, I received this reply:
"Perhaps the only thing that will make this divorce go faster is more legal fees, so I eagerly await your request for another deposit."
This may be the best response to a reminder about a trust deposit that I have ever received.
Imagine the gladness in my heart this morning when, after cautioning a client by email that a request for another fee deposit was looming down the road, I received this reply:
"Perhaps the only thing that will make this divorce go faster is more legal fees, so I eagerly await your request for another deposit."
This may be the best response to a reminder about a trust deposit that I have ever received.
3.02.2006
sea sponge instructions
I hate the fact that some lawyers believe that spell-check is the end of proofreading, not just the beginning. Oh, it's so easy to do. It's also so easy not to add technical terms--like law Latin--as defined terms in one's dictionary.
So easy, and so wrong.
This poor bastard actually submitted an appellate brief in which the phrase "sua sponte" was transmogrified into "sea sponge" at least five times, leading to: "It is well settled that a trial court must instruct sea sponge on any defense, including a mistake of fact defense."
Actually, perhaps the better part of valor is for us lawyers to stop using stuffy Latin phrases, although there is really no substitute in English for phrases like sua sponte and--my absolute favorite--mutatis mutandis. Oddly enough, I just typed the phrase "mutatis mutandis" into a blank Word document and spell-checked it, and Word agreed that it was correctly spelled. I must have it well-trained.
So easy, and so wrong.
This poor bastard actually submitted an appellate brief in which the phrase "sua sponte" was transmogrified into "sea sponge" at least five times, leading to: "It is well settled that a trial court must instruct sea sponge on any defense, including a mistake of fact defense."
Actually, perhaps the better part of valor is for us lawyers to stop using stuffy Latin phrases, although there is really no substitute in English for phrases like sua sponte and--my absolute favorite--mutatis mutandis. Oddly enough, I just typed the phrase "mutatis mutandis" into a blank Word document and spell-checked it, and Word agreed that it was correctly spelled. I must have it well-trained.
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